Four key indicators to look out for. While some offer only whispers of insecurity, others scream it. If you’re doing one or all of them, chances are their impact is greater than you know. And if you’re not even aware that you’re doing them, it’s time to get curious. Be brave and ask. True leadership development cannot happen without (sometimes) excruciating vulnerability.
MICROMANAGEMENT - Little else broadcasts to others that a leader lacks confidence than micromanaging. Hire great people and leave them alone. Onboard them properly. Trust them to do good work. The impact of micromanagement is sorely minimized, and what it actually looks like is definitely misunderstood. If you’re thinking, I don’t literally walk around telling people what to do or offering nonstop feedback all day long. I’m not a micromanager! then you’re thinking too narrowly about micromanaging.
Micromanaging tells everyone around you that you don’t have confidence in yourself or in your team. It’s the antithesis to employee engagement.
ARROGANCE - Remember, we want leadership confidence, not arrogance. Rather than leading a team, an arrogant leader focuses on anything that’s “wrong” with others, or on anything that makes them look “right.”
An arrogant leader can’t share the spotlight. They’ll say, “Here’s what I think” not “What do you think?” They’ll say, “I had that idea last night!” rather than “Nice! And what else?” They’ll “know what the problem is” instead of asking “What’s the real challenge here for you?” They’ll take the recognition for someone else’s ideas (because, ironically, their arrogance is compensation for missing confidence).
A leader’s inability to let someone else shine, contribute, be right, and be seen reveals their low confidence and completely disengages people.
BULLYING BEHAVIOR - Using your position of leadership to make someone else feel bad so that you can feel better or smarter (whether you’re conscious of it or not) screams a lack of confidence. Unfortunately, many on the receiving end of bullying leaders are so traumatized by the experience that they are unable to see where the problem actually lies. But it’s obvious to others!
If bullying behaviors like railroading, humiliation, and threats—or more subtle behaviors like diversion, undermining, and blame projecting—are part of your leadership tool kit, then it’s time for a long and humble look in the mirror. It’s time to get curious with yourself. And it’s time to make some apologies.
WAVERING SUPPORT - While this one isn’t as obvious as the other three examples, it’s still there under the surface. You might not even notice it at first, then you start to see a pattern. It goes something like this: An employee makes a suggestion. The leader isn’t on board. Time goes by. Someone higher up makes the same suggestion and the leader is suddenly on board. Sound familiar?
A leader with low confidence may have trouble putting their full support behind ideas, especially those that might make another person look amazing! They’ll back an idea only if it comes from someone with more power and influence. If they’re also a micromanaging and arrogant leader, they’re much less likely to slow down and ask the necessary questions to build out a good idea with an employee.
Effective leadership is crucial to an organization’s ability to achieve its goals. It’s my genuine belief that almost all leaders who demonstrate these behaviors actually want more for themselves and either don’t even realize they’re behaving this way or they do but don’t know what the alternatives are.
Take some deep breaths. Be candid with yourself. Ask your employees and colleagues for their feedback. Do the work. Your leadership depends on it.