1. Stick to the facts.
Remind your boss of the facts. If your boss tells you to do something that jeopardizes your existing commitments or even runs counter to priorities, let her know.
Your boss will respect your ability to maintain boundaries and that you are thinking beyond the immediate task to ensure the organization’s overall success. Stick to the facts. Tell the truth as you see it. The last thing you want to do is lie to get out of a request.
2. Share how you feel.
It is hard to argue with how one feels. If your boss requests that you do something you feel uncomfortable with or that is unrealistic, tell him.
Your boss might tell you to search the company’s HR system for a colleague’s employment history — something to which you feel you should not be privy. Saying that you feel uncomfortable doing this may help him to realize it is unethical.
If your manager’s request is unrealistic, tell him how you feel and offer an alternative. If you feel the project does not utilize your skills, offer to train a colleague to help with the effort. Your manager will respect your awareness of your abilities and limitations and ability to delegate like a leader.
3. Never show your emotion.
If you want to say “no” to a bully boss, leave your emotions at the door. Do not feed the troll. Even if you feel intimidated, try not to buy into or react outwardly to bullying tactics. If you know in advance that you are going to say “no,” anticipate how your manager might react and practice remaining strong. Sometimes, bullies respect only those who can hold their own and say “no.” When they see they cannot walk all over you, they are more likely to stop their behavior.
Bully bosses can make things uncomfortable (or even unbearable) at work, but do not let them abscond with your self-respect or ruin your reputation. Say “no” to take the lead in your career and gain respect.
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