Focus on the positivesNo matter how bad a situation may seem, it is always possible to find at least one positive thing about the situation if you really try. Maybe you have gained inner strength and resilience from dealing with a difficult situation, grown closer to a friend through sharing your heartbreak or learned something important about yourself. Try your best to focus on what you have learned and gained from your experience rather than on what you have lost.
Take away the emotionIt is obviously difficult to view disappointments and setbacks in life without feeling some sort of emotion. However, being emotionally involved in a situation can mean that we often build things up into something far worse than they actually are. Rather than getting carried away with your own interpretation of how disastrous things are, try to look at the situation a little more objectively. Ask a friend for their point of view or write down exactly what has happened, simply stating the facts. You may find that the situation is not as bleak as it seems when emotions are taken out of the equation, and remember those emotions will fade with time.
Be your own best friendWe often see ourselves in the worst light, particularly when life isn’t going how we want it to. However, it is important not to be hard on yourself and blame yourself just because something in your life hasn’t worked out. Instead, think about what you would you say to a friend in your situation and show yourself the same love and respect. Remember that a plan or relationship failing doesn’t make you a failure, and even the world’s most beautiful and successful people have faced failure and rejection at some point in their lives.
Get a support systemYou may think that dealing with your problems all by yourself is the “grown up” thing to do. However, all of us need support at times, and asking those you love for help is not a sign of weakness. It can help to talk things through and to have someone on your side to make you feel good when life feels too hard, so don’t try to cope with your problems alone. If you don’t have any friends you can, or want to, confide in, it may be worth considering counselling to help you get things off your chest and get you through this difficult time.
Look to the futureIt is easy to get caught up in the “what ifs” and “why mes” when things go wrong in life. However, dwelling on your disappointment will not help the situation. As Alexander Graham Bell stated, “When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” The situation may not feel great and it may not seem fair, but what has happened has happened, whether you like it or not. Rather than dwelling on what could have been, start planning now where you can go from here.
Form a plan BUnfortunately in life our plan A doesn’t always work out. Sometimes we have to wait a little longer than we would like for what we want, and sometimes those things just aren’t meant to be at all. However, remember there are many routes to happiness and just because one thing hasn’t worked out that doesn’t mean there’s nothing to take its place. Rather than focusing fixatedly on one life plan, safeguard yourself against disappointment by formulating several backup plans in case plan A fails. By being flexible, prepared to adapt your plans and continually striving towards more than one goal, you will be better equipped to deal with setbacks and to get back on your feet in record time.
Seek happinessWe often think that happiness should be something that comes to us naturally, without any effort on our part. However, very often happiness is a choice, not something that just falls upon us of its own accord. Make a choice to be happy by becoming a positive thinker, surrounding yourself with supportive friends, doing the things that you enjoy and looking after yourself. Even if you don’t feel like smiling or being happy right now, by acting how you want to feel, the feelings will often naturally follow.
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