Weak leaders sometimes resort to emotional deceit as a weapon for getting things done. They are maestros at employing emotional tirades to get away with an evident lack of substance. While in some cases it is subtle and perhaps “tolerable”, experts warn that manipulation can easily turn to psychopathic levels, if not tamed.
In the executive and senior management ranks, psychopathy behavior is more common than the world is willing to admit. It is, therefore, critical to identify the symptoms of a manipulative boss as early as possible and deal with them. Some of their tactics may include shifting blame, telling half-truths and little lies, causing unjustified alarms, and blowing things out of proportion unnecessarily. But how can you be certain that you are dealing with a manipulative boss? These are some of the tell-tale signs.
COVERT INTIMIDATION - If your boss likes reminding you how much he has helped you or how hard it is to make it out there, among other veiled threats, it is time to hold your head straight and let him see your confidence. Manipulative people rarely pick people who are brimming with self-confidence as their victims.
SELECTIVE INATTENTION - Dealing with an indifferent boss is a daunting task. It is even worse when the boss only pays attention to what suits him. There is no way to predict his mood or reaction to situations. If your boss plays dumb or acts oblivious to issues that may jeopardise your performance, it might be a sign that he wants you to start sucking up.
PLAYING THE SERVANT ROLE - One of the first things that every employee does is to understand exactly what their job description entails - what you should and shouldn't do! But, there are bosses that ensure your plate is overflowing with extra duties packaged as service to a noble cause. This conduct, combined with guilt-tripping when you say no, is one of the most obvious red flags.
CANNY ESCAPISM - When your manager will not address problems or conflict and will do anything to avoid facing problems, it is cause for alarm. Manipulative bosses will often dodge issues, change subjects when you raise them and go to great lengths to distract you from the real challenge. For example, the boss might always be in a hurry anytime you want to talk about something. He could also trivialise the problem to make it sound like a non-issue. Such tricks make you work harder to get his attention. Good managers, on the other hand, are readily available to discuss and resolve problems.
UNDERHANDED FIGHTS - The rule in the workplace is to fight fair because conflict will arise anyway. But when a boss does not respect this rule, it is most likely a tool of manipulation. If you find your manager often shifting blame and scapegoating, perhaps it is time to confront him and outline your concerns. If your boss is fond of using subtle sarcasm on you, putting you down, portraying you as inadequate, or any other shaming technique, it is time to sound the alarm bell.
OVERT FAVORITISM - A manipulative boss will go to great lengths to lure you into their net. The first step is to make you overly trusting and drop your defence. This is also one way to find out more about your past and hopefully use it to blackmail you in the future should you be uncooperative. If you are a new employee, and the boss openly favors or overtly supports you, it is smart to question the gestures.
OVER INTELLECTUALIZATION - If you find yourself struggling to understand what your boss is saying, even though you are an educated professional, he may have crossed the line. You can tell when you have a boss who enjoys intellectual stimulation and one that is a bully. The former will not push you to go beyond what you need as a professional and will enjoy teaching you if you are interested. The later will use his knowledge to intimidate and shame those around him. The intention in such a scenario is to push you to spend too much time trying to figure your boss out, rather than protecting yourself against his aggression.
It is easier if you can avoid being in manipulative situations, but when it is your workplace, and the person in question is your boss, it isn’t really an option. The best bet for you is to recognise his pathology early, draw boundaries and learn to assert them consistently. Know your basic rights as a human being and employee. Keep your distance, develop a tough backbone, and never blame yourself for his actions. If the situation gets too uncomfortable to you, involve other authorities at your workplace. Remember the problem is not you and simply giving in or making excuses for manipulative people, feeds the habit.
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