Insecure Colleagues In Office

There are many colleagues in our office that highly insecure. You can observe it from the way they talk, from how they move, and even from their posture - some of them even say it out loud.

A few people who from the outside look particularly confident — they take care of their appearance, dress elegant, speak and walk confidently — while they have a deep lack of self-esteem. Their insecurity is more subtle and you have to look closer at them and how they behave.

They Are Loud - Not all loud people are insecure. However, something subtly insecure people tend to have in common is they crave attention, so they are often loud. Being loud is not exclusively speaking loudly. It is the continuous attempt to become the center of the attention, in every circumstance. These people’s attention-seeking behaviors often stem from a deep need for validation and for reassurance that they’re worthy. 

They Need to Talk About Themselves All the Time  - Insecure people tends to seek validation and approval. And this leads them to talk a lot about themselves. 

They Put Others Down - Insecure people tends to talk badly about others. Some do this behind their best friend’s back. If they have nine reasons to be grateful to someone, and one reason to criticize them, they focus on the one thing they can judge or attack. Insecure people puts others down, they usually do it because they need to feel and be seen as superior, confident, and powerful. They need to feel better than others is actually a major cause for people who put others down.

They Act as if They Know Everything - Insecure people don’t like to admit they don’t know something. Lao-Tzu teaches us that - "He who knows and knows that he knows is best. He who knows not and pretend that he knows is an illness".  

They Boast About Their Achievements All The Time - There’s quite a difference between sharing your achievements in a humble way and brag. When talking about their wins, confident people are modest and brief, they recognize their obstacles, admit they had to work hard for what they achieved, and give credit to others. Insecure people instead, tend to make it all about themselves. They usually don’t give credit to others, and have to share every single small win with the world.

They Need to Control Others - Some people have a need for control. The need for control drives people to turn to the external world in order to find things they can control. They may be compelled to micromanage and orchestrate the actions and behaviors of others, or maintain rigid rules regarding routine, diet, or cleanliness and order.

It’s not easy to deal with an insecure person, especially when you don’t know their actions stem from a lack of self-confidence. However, what you can do is learn to identify certain behaviors — such as trying to control others and putting them down — learn to never take things personally, and, in certain situations, set clear, healthy boundaries with these people.